Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Days 37 and Beyond: Balance

No fucking "I told you so's".

Not a one.

I'm seeking balance, and in doing so, ditching my one hundred day plan to graze like a caveman until 2013.  Because let's be honest, there's nothing balanced about a diet free of lentils.  Not in my opinion. 

As I write this I hear the voices of everyone I know whispering their particular nutritional philosophies in my ear.

"I'm glad you're stopping" some will say.  
"There's no way you can live without bread".
"It's bad for the earth, all of that meat-eating.  Mother Earth thanks you".  
"How are you going to survive the holidays?  You know you're just going to go back to your old ways...".
"The FDA says we need dairy, you know, because of osteoporosis and stuff".
"Classic Taylor.  A big, fat quitter".

Okay, maybe that last quote comes directly from my own self-conscious, sub-conscious brain.  The point is, everyone I know has had an opinion about this Paleo thing one way or the other.  I have some friends that think I'm destined for heart failure because the lifestyle is meat-centric while other friends have had their fingers crossed for me these last few weeks hoping this will be the miracle cure a sugar-addicted, plus-sized depressive like me needs. (I probably shouldn't refer to myself as a depressive because my mom will worry.  Sorry mom.  No need to worry, but yeah, I get the sadness on occasion.)  

Maybe it's the sugar-addict talking, but I'm through with being extreme.  I think I often mistake my situation as extreme, and therefore believe that the only way to fix myself (as if I were broken) is to create an extreme action.  But those who know me well know I've been here before, and they know my story is a cyclical one.  I, having given up on myself, look in the mirror, see Jabba the Hut, decide I need to change right now, latch on to a wild idea, get disappointed because said wild idea is not the magic bullet I was hoping for, and then, with a broken spirit, give up on myself.  Days later I, having given up on myself, look in the mirror, see Jabba the Hut, decide I need to change right now...you get the idea.  

Well as a wise man once said, the only way to break a cycle is to break the cycle.  No?  Is that not a real quote?  C'mon somebody must have said that at some point, right?  Dr. Drew...

Where were we?  Oh, yes!  Breaking the cycle.  Let's do it!  Let's focus on what we have instead of what we don't have.  Sure, I'll never be a Bond Girl or one of Maxim's Top 100.  Truth is, I really don't care about that shit.  I would, however, like to wear a sundress in the summer without feeling embarassed. I'd  like to have have arms strong enough to carry my child* without breaking a sweat.  And I'd like to know that my legacy will not have anything to do with my weight.  I don't want to be known as a woman who never loved her body because she was too busy comparing herself to others.  And I'm ashamed to say that for the last twenty years or so, that's all I've done.  I've buried my accomplishments under the comparisons of others, and I've fallen short every time.  

Now, I'm no fool.  I know that one doesn't diet and binge and diet and binge from the age of nine to thirty-two and then just suddenly wake up one day, write a compelling post at a short-lived blog and then stop.  I know the road ahead is rocky - someone say Rocky Road? - and I know that I'll need your help, friends.  One way you can help is by posting a comment below full of love and light and empty of disappointment and "I told you so's".  (I really fucking hate the "I told you so's".)  Another way you can help is by recommending a good therapist.  That's a joke.  Kind of.

Alright homies, the end is here.  Thanks for reading!  
May your life be happy and balanced...

*No, I'm not pregnant.  Stop asking.

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Days 30-36: T Time

I've decided to take a blog break for a week.  I'm still using Paleo Power to survive the holiday season, but I'm also desperately trying to balance teaching, creative writing, working out and homemade Halloween costume making.  So I'm giving myself the gift of doing less by scratching something off my list.  And that thing, for now, is blogging.

Talk to you in a few...

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Day 29: Soupy Sundays

Last Sunday I made a giant pot of puréed veggie soup and added shredded rotisserie chicken breast.  It was delicious, cost-effective, Paleo and made packing a healthy lunch for myself as easy as filling up an old gelato jar with soup and popping it in the fridge.  This Sunday I made another soup, and I plan on making Sundays my soup making day throughout all of fall and winter... Or at least until I get insanely bored of soup.

Tonite's soup: Curried Pumpkin with Bacon Jam!  The soup itself is yummy, but the bacon compote stuff is out of this world redunkulous.  I doubled the recipe for the soup so that I have enough to get me through the work week, subbed half the onion for fennel (I'm heavily into fennel these days) and used half pumpkin and half butternut squash because my local Co-Op was all out of plain pumpkin.  Nom nom!

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Day 28: Successful Saturdays!

Scale Related Success: - 2.0 lbs.

(Didn't make in into the '100's' like I hoped I would, but I'm pleased with this loss, considering the foodie fun I had Tuesday night.

Non-Scale Related Success: 

Still truckin'.

Still hopeful.

Still Paleo.

Friday, October 19, 2012

Day 27: Foodie Fridays!

If there's one thing I've learned about myself since the introduction of Foodie Fridays it's this: I eat out at least once every week, and I never have a camera on me when I need one... wait, is that two things?

Saturday: Potatoes, garlic and kale under an egg (pre-dousing of Tapatio)

Sunday: Steak with squash dressed in olive oil and mustard.  (I'm trying to avoid straight-up vinegar because of the sulfites).

Monday: Dinner at Backstage with the Roadrunners (my husband's softball team) after a fantastic victory! I had a steak salad with avocado.

Tuesday: You remember Tuesday.  It was the night my resolve went to shit and I ate everything I could possibly get my hands on at my sister-in-law's birthday party.  Worth it?  Kind of.  It wasn't all
delicious, but it sure was nice to break the rules.

Wednesday: Pork chop with apples sauteed in bacon fat, maple syrup and cinnamon.  Yes, it was a good as it sounds, that is, if it sounds good to you. Served with spinach and yam puree. 

Thursday: I went on strike from cooking.  Really, I wasn't that hungry.  So I enjoyed a latte made with decaf espresso, cinnamon, honey and protein-enriched unsweetened almond milk.  

Friday: Another night when cooking just didn't happen, but instead of skipping a meal I'm forcing myself to down two glasses (16 oz) of protein-enriched unsweetened almond milk.  At 5 grams of protein per serving, it's better than going to bed on an empty stomach, or worse, going to bed on a stomach filled with junk food.  That said, no lectures please.  I know I can do better.  And yes, mom, I know that almond milk is not an acceptable dinner.  
I promise to eat my veggies tomorrow. 

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Day 26: Stats!

Hi friends! Check out my Day 26 stats at the bottom of the page to see how the first twenty-five days of Paleo suited me...

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Day 25: First Quarter!

Before I confess last night's sins, let's take a little time to recognize that it's day 25!  Twenty-five days of significantly healthier eating than twenty-five days ago.  Without committing to Paleo these last four weeks I would have most likely been living on pumpkin lattes and cookies the size of my face.  Hooray for change!

Now, let's talk about the inevitable - the bumps in the road.  They happen.  They're apart of the learning curve. I have had a lot of nights out of the last few weeks, and I'd stayed remarkably strong, that is until I went to my sister-in-law's birthday last night.  I wasn't planning on veering off track at all, in fact, I was blindsided.  My mistake was going in without a plan.  There was a plethora of party foods, and though I started out smart, snacking on grapes and drinking water, by the end of the night I had:

  • Sweet Thai Chili Kettle Chips (1/2c.)
  • Pita and Hummus (1 wedge, 1 tbsp.)
  • Cheese and Crackers (a lot, there was some damn fine cheese there)
  • Peanut Butter M&M (1)
  • And last but not least, Cupcake (1)

On a positive note, I stuck with water the entire night (it was the least I could do for myself).  

As Adam and I were driving home from the shindig, I realized that all I really wanted was the cupcake - it had rainbow sprinkles, for crying out loud.  How could my inner six-year-old resist?  If I was a smart cookie (mmm...cookies...) I would have made a plan for the cupcake.  I would have admitted my "need" for it and made a pact with myself to drink water, eat grapes and then, with pride for accomplishing my goal, enjoyed the cupcake. I also should've brought healthy Paleo snacks to nosh on like olives, nuts and fruity, sparkling water! 

Lesson learned.  Forward march!